Thinness Glorification
A colleague told me once: “the only good thing about being terribly sick for 5 days, is losing weight”.
Almost everyone around me is obsessed with losing weight.
Their current weight, height, age, education, marital status, intelligence, financial status, country, location — all do not seem to make any difference. Losing weight is always desirable, no matter how.
But it doesn’t end there — many want others round them, and ideally everyone around them, to lose weight as well. They compliment others when they succeed to lose weight, or when they resist having a snack.
I’ve always had an average body size. I never felt part of this game and did not understand it, but tried to get to the bottom of it. Asking people directly failed — most just feel obligated to it and don’t know why, they are even surprised by the question. Some are cynical, as if not losing weight is not even an option.
A few years ago I was having lunch with a colleague and at one point he said: “look how disgusting this woman is.” I asked him if he could explain what he meant. He said “the fat one, see how fat she is.” I asked again, what was exactly disgusting, but he could not explain.
And another one: a colleague arrived late for a meeting and said that the taxi driver was “very fat”. I could not get an answer how it related to him being late.
I am not an academic researcher, so I have to solely rely on my personal observations and opinions. This entails, that I am referring only to politically or economically stable countries where food is abundant.
I think that thin glorification became popular arbitrarily, like a gene mutation that succeeded and became dominant.
For centuries, being thin signalled being poor and belonging to a low social class. People with muscles were definitely very poor as they worked physically many hours each day.
Throughout the past 100 years or so, it was not the case any more, and at some point, a critical mass of people held the opinion that thin is “better”, and this is the opinion that became dominant in our lives as also reflected in literature, media and movies. Better could mean “healthier”, “consumed less”, “can do more physical work”, “has more self control”, “higher ethics”, or even religiously “better” as will be explained below.
Like in economics, once something becomes a monopoly, it is extremely hard to defy.
Ironically, with the advancements in science, technology, medicine, agriculture and the worldwide popularization of the “thinness glorification”, the number of fat and obese people is still on the rise.
I imagine that even if this trend continues, and the majority of mankind is fat or obese, losing weight would still be desirable.
We are biologically programmed to consume — mind and body. We want to eat and our body has adapted to store excess food intake. This is getting fat, and it is a natural process.
Then why is it considered so bad nowadays? Why does it continue? Why is it ridiculous?
Health
Health is the ultimate justification for torturing fat people.
Most people don’t care about others that much, but when it comes to body size, many feel free to comment, insult or advise fat people because they “care about their health”. This is ridiculous for several reasons:
- You cannot tell the health situation of someone, thin , fat or obese, by looking at their body. Thin people who don’t exercise and have a poor diet usually have health issues. Thin people might have severe conditions, obese people might have perfect blood pressure and test results and vice versa. Even the so popular BMI doesn’t take many factors, such as muscle weight, bone width, age and gender.
- If it would be honest caring for health, it would be expressed in many other scenarios, such as: advocating not use motorcycles, smoking, dangerous hobbies and extreme sports, etc.
- Really, how am I supposed to believe you’re concerned about the health condition of a complete stranger you’ve just approached to give unsolicited advice to? Are there other topics you’re so passionate about giving advice to strangers?
- Hurting fat people and inflicting sorrow, guilt and depression is a larger source of health issues, both mental and physical. Self loathing and eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia are such examples. Some start to suffer from the consequences as early as 5 years old. Can you imagine being hurt and discriminated on a daily basis? No wonder, that people of the same weight are usually in a worse physical condition when they are dissatisfied with their body.
- Some cope with these comments by emotional eating, thus, the “help” does the opposite.
Expenses
Fat people spend more money on food. That’s reasonable.
Smokers spend on cigarettes. Others spend on luxury cars, collect rare stamps, travel the world or ski.
Yes, people spend money on things they love.
Morals
Greed — fat people are perceived as greedy, because they eat more than they need. It’s not always true: sometimes poor people can only afford food that is more fattening, even by smaller quantities.
But anyway, they hurt no one. Think about greedy people who do hurt others by stealing, cheating and passing corrupt laws.
Gluttony — remember, big appetite is a sign of health. People who lose their appetite are either sick or depressed.
You are morally superior if you donate your time and money to others, or to animals, not by avoiding eating. Also attending religious ceremonies does not put you higher on the scale. Their main outcome is pleasing family members, neighbors and your conscience.
Self control — avoiding eating is considered demonstrating self control. But what is the purpose exactly? Avoid in order to avoid? There are other places where self control is important, such as obeying traffic rules and studying for oneself’s future.
Over consumption — how are they eat so much when there are hungry people in other countries? For various reasons, including lack of wars and droughts, there is an abundance of food. Avoiding it will not help hungry people elsewhere. If you honestly cared about the world’s resources, you would not drive an SUV, you would switch to a more expensive green electricity provider and not be lazy to recycle. And think of it — what is the difference, when you prefer to throw away left overs instead of having them?
Stupidity and bad judgment — obviously, fat people eat food that is bad for them and makes them fat. But in spite of them knowing it, they still continue to do so.
Just notice that there are fat judges, teachers, researchers, scientists, poets, doctors, politicians and managers. Are they also stupid and have bad judgment?
By the way — that sincere concern for a fat stranger’s health would be more impressive if you didn’t ignore that homeless begging for money two minutes ago.
Self indulgence and hedonism — if they bother you despite not hurting any one, see what Wikipedia has to say about it:
“Hedonism is a school of thought that argues that the pursuit of pleasure and intrinsic goods are the primary or most important goals of human life. A hedonist strives to maximize net pleasure (pleasure minus pain). However upon finally gaining said pleasure, happiness may remain stationary.
Ethical hedonism is the idea that all people have the right to do everything in their power to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure possible to them. It is also the idea that every person’s pleasure should far surpass their amount of pain. Ethical hedonism is said to have been started by Aristippus of Cyrene, a student of Socrates. He held the idea that pleasure is the highest good.”
Sigmund Freud used the term “the pleasure principle” to characterize the tendency of people to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
On the other hand, what indicates low morals, is discriminating people based on their size. For example not hiring them or paying them 30% less than their thin coworkers.
Public health system burden
Fat people are more prone to develop certain medical conditions, thus require more resources form the health system (in countries that provide one). So are people who were born with certain genetic diseases, smokers, athletes and sport players, the elderly, people who live in polluted areas and many more cases. This is why we have this system — to treat everyone!
Looks
Our brain is using shortcuts to handle the endless information and stimulations. The pattern of “being thin equals being beautiful” has already been established and cannot be easily removed.
It’s like engagement rings — they must contain a diamond. It’s an absolute truth, right? Did you know that it wasn’t the case until the 1930s, and is only a result of an incredibly successful marketing campaign of De Beers, the diamond company? Among other things, they “educated” young men and women in high school that only a diamond ring expresses romance and real love. Maybe it’s time to challenge things we take for granted?
Many think that fat is disgusting because they heard it constantly and repeatedly, and it acts as a social proof — thin is the correct state. If you’re fat or don’t think that fat is disgusting, you’re an anomaly. Think of a high school reunion — people who remained thin are winners and the ones who put on weight are definitely losers.
A huge majority of actors and singers are thin. Everybody wants to look like them. Fat people usually hide their bodies. It is rare to see them wearing bikini on the beach. Fat people are rare on social media. They are ashamed to upload their photos. Some refuse to even be photographed altogether, to not see how fat they really are.
On the contrary, many thin people celebrate their thinness, they upload and share many photos online and like to show off in public. If a fat person did that, they’re just asking for fat-shaming.
Fashion and clothing companies are targeting the smaller range of sizes, making fat people feel excluded. They have to shop brands that are designated for their special needs.
Who decided that fat was not aesthetic? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your height doesn’t really matter when judging beauty, right? Some people prefer blue eyes, but they have no negative emotions regarding people with brown eyes. There were times in history where fat was considered more aesthetic. There are countries where fat is still considered beautiful. So this is purely a trend. You are only taught that it is an absolute truth.
Sweat and smell
You have this mental image of fat people being sweaty and smelly? Many thin people have body odor. Some don’t use antiperspirant or deodorant on purpose. Some thin people are always hot and sweat easily. Some who don’t are physically very active so they are more sweaty.
Heavy breathing
Fat people may have heavy breath at times. This is the natural process of muscles and organs needing more oxygen and the heart beating faster to supply it through the blood system. People who don’t regularly exercise might experience this after mild exertion, no matter what size they are.
Notice that heavy breathing has different effect in different contexts — for example, it’s completely expected for basketball players , runners or tennis players. It’s expected and stimulating during sex.
Laziness
Fat people are perceived as lazy. While this is not true, put yourself in their shoe, literally. Imagine carrying a bag of 100 lbs everywhere.
I have seen many highly motivated hard working fat people, both physically and mentally, and thin people who’d do anything to avoid any effort or contribute as less as possible.
Space
The fat person takes two seats on the train? Would it annoy you if it was a sick person with their medical equipment, who takes two seats? Or a person and their child?
Diet industry
Weight loss surgery, books, pills, support groups, dieticians, gyms, private fitness instructors — all economically depend on the need of people to lose weight and have the most interest in spreading it, and they sure do. This multi-billion dollars industry must continue to make people hate themselves and reinforce the message.
Moreover, they are perceived as people of authority, some are medical doctors, and therefore must be right.
Most diets fail, everybody knows. As if to spite, the less calories the body consumes, it “thinks” it might be starved, and therefore slows the metabolism down, holding on to the calories even more. This means the person has to eat less and less, which is not sustainable in many cases.
Finding partner
I once read that 90% of what we do is in order to get sex. For examples: working out many hours per week, studying hard and finding a good job, seeking positions of political power and so on.
So in this context, we realize that being thin will aid us in finding better partners (good looking, rich, smart), find them faster, or cover for our personal deficiencies.
The funny thing is, food and sex are the two primary pleasures, but you have to avoid one in order to achieve the other.
You expect a fat person to find a partner who had to make some kind of compromise — for example they are fat themselves. Because, why would a thin person date a fat one? Maybe it’s because the fat person is rich and they’re after their money? Maybe the fat person is a citizen and they need a residence permit? Maybe they have empathy for the “flawed”?
This is so ingrained, that some fat people cannot believe that their romantic partners are actually attracted to them.
Obesity glorification
Some people have concern, that even showing obese people on TV and movies might signal that it’s normal and will push other into obesity. Do you really think that any one will decide to become obese because of that?
Exclusive language
It’s common to hear the term “obesity epidemic”. But epidemic is contagious by definition. No one gets fat because a fat person talked to them. But the term is derogatory as if they are lepers that need to be in quarantine.
Moreover, instead of the word “fat” or “obese”, it is now common to hear terms such as “people of size” and “plus size body”. Think for a moment why it is needed. This euphemism is used, so we won’t need to even say this awful term, “fat”. “Fat” is an adjective, just like beautiful, tall, far, green and happy. It’s not inherently bad.
Physically exclusive
As a thin person, the world is made exactly for you.
You can see weight limit signs in many places and occasions — theme parks, renting a scooter, furniture and more. You know a fat person must sometimes purchase two plane tickets. Everybody can see that fat is restricted, so you get the signal — fat is bad.
Fat-phobia
Phobia is “an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something”. I don’t believe people are actually afraid of fat people, but others get the signal — if you’re fat, you’re repulsive. This keeps feeding the vicious cycle. Fat must be hidden and denied.
Anger
Jealousy of others who allow themselves to indulge, take seconds and snacks, while you don’t. This frustration accumulates.
Past experience
Fat people have most likely been bullied during childhood, adolescence and probably even later in life. It was a rough and humiliating experience, and when the time comes, they will warn their children that they should eat less and remain thin in order to avoid the pain.
Weakness
It is common to think that fat people are weak, because they give in to their body desires.
Why is it not considered weaker to conform to social norms?
Professional hostility
You might have recollections of a teacher humiliating the fat kid in class, bringing them to tears and encouraging further school bullying.
Other professionals in authority positions do it as well, also to grown ups.
Unfortunately, it’s extremely common for fat people to go to a doctor with a complaint, and the doctor automatically connects it to overweight, and encourages a weight loss surgery, sometimes without even doing tests or not knowing that the patient is not medically or mentally allowed to undergo such operation. Some humiliate and insult the patient and even refuse to assist until weight is lost. I have witnessed several times a nurse trying to measure blood pressure and take blood from a fat patient, and being loudly angry about the special effort she has to put due to the patient’s size. One seemed very amused to have said to her patient: “well, it’s your fault I must hurt you over and over again, you’re fat.”
Surprisingly, even psychologists are not immune from this and suggest that problems would go away with weight loss, crushing their patients in a supposedly safe environment.
Media
How many fat figures on television, movies or songs can you recall, that were presented in a positive light? The fat person is usually presented as clumsy, depressed, mentally ill, unsuccessful, a loser. In some, the same person is presented as successful or smarter after losing weight. True, after people are not humiliated on daily basis due to their weight any more, they might recognize their abilities and exercise them. The same could be achieved had the bullying stopped.
What can you do?
- Question your beliefs — does size really matter to you? Or is it a planted message?
- Agree that the whole thing is fashion, nothing else
- Don’t stare at fat people, don’t point at them
- When going out with fat people, be sensitive to their physical needs, like tall bar stools and tight chairs. Think of their comfort
- When you’re with a fat person and they’re treated unfairly, or have needs (e.g. a bigger chair in a restaurant), speak up for them
- Surround yourself with fat friends who are confident and positive
- Date a fat person — don’t succumb to pressure from friends, family and society. Show to yourself and to others that it’s normal
- Don’t give unsolicited nutrition advice
- Don’t make fun and take part in fat jokes even when the person seems to cooperate, it’s a social defense mechanism
- Stop fat jokes or online bullying, fight fat-phobia
- Don’t judge or assume any character traits based on looks
- Teach our kids that any body size and shape is normal
- Upload photos to social media regardless of body size and shape
- Don’t avoid dressing how you really want in order to hide your body
- Acknowledge bias when interviewing, remain professional, don’t discriminate based on size
- If you’re a therapist or a doctor — don’t assume any condition is due to the weight — many misdiagnosed cancer, respiratory infection, knee injury, pregnancy and more.
- Celebrate the current abundance. We live in a period of no long lasting war, no hunger, no economical crisis. This can end any day.
“Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” 1 Corinthians 15:32b - Be kind
Just imagine — if all the time, money, worries, efforts and resources of losing weight would have been used for good causes!
P.S.
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